You lucky dog, you! You’ve managed to convince two women to sleep with you—a real Menage e Trois. But now what? How do you navigate this uncharted territory? Most importantly, how do you sail these waters and ensure that your partner wants to come back for a return trip?
Know Your Ground Rules
Because you’ve spoken at length with both your current partner and the new girl, you have ground rules. If you value your current relationship, it’s best to let your partner set these rules and boundaries. Her comfort and pleasure are what will make future threesomes a possibility. She may be open enough to say anything goes, but in reality, there will probably be at least a couple things she will say are out of the question.
Never, Ever Break The Rules
Whatever your current partner says, goes. Do not push the envelope and do not attempt to renegotiate the terms while sprawled out naked in bed. Most commonly, she will okay playing with the other woman, but forbid penetrating her. Or she may go the Pretty Woman route and say everything is fine except kissing on the lips. Always set ground rules before the adrenaline and hormones are pumping.
No matter how tempting, do not break the rules. Even if in the heat of the moment, your partner decides she really would like to see you penetrate the other woman, hold back and say that you’ll wait for next time. Think of it as taking one for the team. It’s hard, but in the end, your relationship will be stronger.
Don’t Be Selfish
Of course, your first instinct is to think, “YES! Two women to satisfy ME in every way!” Push that thought aside. There are three people in the bed and all three need to feel equally satisfied in order for a repeat performance to occur.
If you make this about you, then rest assured it won’t happen again. If you make it about pleasing the women in as many ways as you can, then you will be blessed with the experience again and again. Be their hero and you will reap the rewards.
Don’t Be Surprised If You Get Ignored
If your partner is bisexual, you may find yourself being ignored as the two ladies explore and pleasure each other. Lean back and enjoy the show or find a way to lend a hand (or mouth!). Women bounce back quickly after orgasm, so there will be plenty left for you.
Keep Everyone Involved
One of the hardest things to manage in a threesome is keeping both women involved. This is especially difficult if they are not interested in playing with each other. It may take some creativity on your part, but try your best to keep in physical contact with both women as much as possible.
The 60/40 Split
Always give 60% of your attention to your partner. A new woman in the bed is always exciting and you’re going to want to have fun with her as much as possible, but if your current partner feels she’s being ignored in favor of the new girl, you’re in trouble!
Be Clean and Safe
Remember to use protection, even if you and your current partner usually forgo condoms and dental dams. All bodily fluids can transmit disease, so be sure that you pleasure one woman with your left hand and the other with your right. Having fun means taking the precautions necessary to be able to have more fun in the future.
The Aftermath
After all is said and done, feel free to relax and take it all in. You’ve just had a threesome!
Once your new friend has gone home, talk with your partner and get her thoughts and feelings on the experience. Share the highlights of the experience with her and reassure her of your feelings for her and her place in your life.
If you’ve got the energy in you, make love with her. The more secure she is in your relationship, the higher the chances are of having threesome play be a regular part of your sex life.
Have you ever had a threesome (Menage e Trois)? Tell us how you pulled it off (no pun intended)!
Learn specific tactics on how to initiate and close threesomes (Meage a Trois).
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Threesomes are amazing. Me and my wife, Jam decided we wanted to try something new. She was all for the idea and we got her best friend to come over after dinner. We spoke to her about it and then that night, had one the the best experiences. It was indeed tricky to keep my mind on my wife, seeing as it was all new. But, I did find out that she has a thing for the same sex. They sure put on a show. My advice is not to be too attentive to yourself eg. “Oh my god, I can’t believe I get both of them!” Think more along the lines of, I want to give THEM pleasure. But overall,
have fun.
As a fellow dating coach and a guy who has had a threesome or two himself I can honestly say: if you’re girlfriend/wife is into it, then why not?
However, it’s also possible to end up having a threesome with two women you aren’t dating.
The key to achieving that is remembering this…
Women have the same sexual nature as men do, but they’ve learned to surpress it. Why? Because if a woman sleeps with 3 guys every single month, she’s called a slut. If a man sleeps with 3 women a month though, he’s “THE man”.
Because women don’t want to lose face, lose their reputation, and be viewed as sluts, they “hide” their sexual nature while they fantasize about it as much as we do. Hell, most women I’ve met have admitted that they fantasize way more than guys do because sex is forbidden fruit to them and that is what? Yep: more exciting than what’s allowed…
Thinking along those lines, we think women will get freaked out when you start to kiss and be all touchy/feely with woman #1 while woman #2 is in the same room. But the truth is stranger than fiction here:
Even if woman #2 isn’t initially interestes in having a threesome, she’ll get more and more excited the longer she sees her friend and you get it on and get this… usually woman #2 will join without you needing to ask because she’s insanely hot and bothered.
I can just hear you think: “won’t woman #2 just get up and leave?”
And from the bottom of my heart and experience and those of my students I answer: only 1 in 10 do, so most guys simply make bad assumptions about threesomes while the truth is so obvious that it almost seems stupid not to realize what’s really going on:
Women are just as sexual as we are, want to experiment in bed just as much as we do, and are superfreaks from time to time just like men are haha!
To More Dating Success,
Dennis Miedema
Win With Women